So this is going to be a post about advice…I need some. Cedi is a really good kid but – she’s two. It seems that whenever I need her to listen to me, do anything, or behave, I have to bribe her…is there another way? I really don’t want her to be spoiled. I just want her to behave because that’s what I expect…how do I do this?
Any and all suggestions are welcomed!
Hi Kim,
I think the clue is in your last sentence, you "expect" her to behave. That's good. Children generally behave the way we expect them to. If she is a very strong willed, independent child, it will be more of a challenge for sure. We all have our love languages (have you read that book? http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/books_familyparenting.html#children) If I remember correctly, the five languages are (1)focused attention, (2) words of affirmation, (3) gifts (4) service and (5) touch. If you can figure out what Cedi most responds to, you can reach her more effectively. Just my two cents from experience as a mom, and now a grandmom.
Oh, and always remember – YOU'RE the parent.
Some things that may help
1. Pay attention to how you phrase things – don't word requests as a choice. I.E. "Do you want to eat lunch?" SAY: It's time for lunch.
Really think about if the comments you are saying are CHOICES don't ask this way if it is NOT a choice (i.e. getting dressed, wearing seatbelt, taking a bath etc…)
2. Give time for her to comply (up to 20 seconds) When she doesn't ask in a fun way again. When she doesn't use gently physical contact – hands on shoulders, holding hand, hands on back and (keeping voice friendly) "this is what Cedi does when Mommy says come to the table.
Always followed by lots of reward (praise, smile, favorite song – snuggel kids -> for my kids I flipped them around a lot & they learned that when they followed mom's directions, it was fun)
3. A website I like is zero to three . com